"If you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything."
Win Borden

Story of my life...
I've used 20 years of my life trying to figure this little portion of it out. Then all of a sudden, it makes sense. Everyone is going to make mistakes, it's just how you handle those mistakes that makes you who you are. Running away only helps temporarily. Sure, there are times when you're down and don't feel like getting back up, but eventually you realize you really just have to get over it. You'll be a'ight.


‎"Dream as if you'll live forever.
Live as if you'll die today."
James Dean

I can dream all I want... it's not going to change the truth...
I was never meant to be great. Never meant to make something wonderful of myself. I'm just another player in this game, one that has no valuable meaning. I once dreamed of being a Veterinarian. I decided I couldn't do it because I couldn't handle having to lose a single animal, knowing they were a part of someone's family. And then, I wanted to be a Psychologist. A counselor, maybe. I decided not to do that and choose something "better" by going into the Army. Guess what? I failed at that one, too. After that I thought, maybe I can be a cop. Police Officers get a lot of respect, they are a great part of society. Couldn't do that one because I'd be eaten alive in the streets. Now, I'm thinking of being a lawyer, but guess what? It's probably not going to happen because I'm either not going to be able to afford law school, or I'll fail at that, too.


"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes."
Oscar Wilde

Mistakes made in my life:
Not getting accepted into the GATE program in grammar school
Not getting straight A's in high school
Failing to complete Basic Training
Not getting a 4.0 in college
Not being a mechanic to gain my family's approval
Constantly regretting things I shouldn't


"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Examples as follows:
Losing my first dog, Lacy, at age 11 (loss) --> Realizing life isn't fair (gain)
Moving for the very first time (gain) --> The beginning of a life of inconsistencies (loss)
Getting my heart broken over and over (loss) --> Takes a lot to make me cry (gain)
Bouncing back from failing in BCT (gain) --> Other people still see me as a failure (loss)
Parents' divorce at age 12 (loss) --> (I'll have to get back to this one. Still haven't figured out the 'good' that came from it.)

"That's the Way it is" - Jo Dee Messina

Everybody wants an easy ride
On the merry-go-round that we call life
Take your drive on cruise control
Then you wait to find out it's a winding road
I had my dreams in view
When the money ran out and the engine blew

Hung my tears out to dry
Then my dreams fell out of that clear blue sky
And I, I was walkin' the clouds
Feelin' so safe and sound
Then somethin' else knocks me down

Well, Oh, That's the way it is
You gotta roll with the punches
That's the way it goes
You gotta bend when the wind blows
You live you learn
You crash and burn
It's hit or miss
And that's the way it is

One fine day you wake up
Completely, hoplessly fallen in love
He's just what you're lookin' for
The only problem is, that the man's not sure
Another guy'll give you everything

The only problem is you don't feel a thing
Well I know from expirence
Nothin's ever gonna make perfect sense
Oh, one day you get what you want
But it's not what you think
Then you get what you need

Well, Oh, That's the way it is
You gotta roll with the punches
That's the way it goes
You gotta bend when the wind blows
You live you learn
You crash and burn
It's hit or miss
And that's the way it is

Yeah they say your soul is growin'
But sometimes I feel like throwin' somethin'

Well, Oh, That's the way it is
You gotta roll with the punches
That's the way it goes
You gotta bend when the wind blows
Well, That's the way it is
You gotta roll with the punches
That's the way it goes
You gotta bend when the wind blows
You live you learn
You crash and burn
It's hit or miss
And that's the way it is

Two sides, one middle ground, conveniently named "No Mans Land." There is always one lonely individual on each side of the field, hiding behind their trench, hoping to be found and saved by the other side. But no one dares cross No Mans Land to save the other, because the minute that trench in climbed and one foot sets in that terrifying middle ground, shots are fired, bombs explode, and airstrikes begin. The one time someone shows the bravery and patience required to succeed in this deadly mission, the outcome is short-lived, and it only ever exists once no matter how hard of a fight is put up to find it again. This never ending mission is what continues these wars in each of us each long, grueling day.